idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
