Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
