puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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