The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
