just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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