what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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