We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
this is an emotional support booty call
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
