why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
