Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
