I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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