this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
