is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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