so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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