i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The beer is more important than you right now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
