i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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