She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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