Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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