The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
