He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
FUCK WHALES
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
