Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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