you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
