went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
