She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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