I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
