He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
