due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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