the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
