Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
