When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
