I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Congratulations! We have a period
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
