Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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