Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
