This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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