I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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