Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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