But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
