Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
