Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
