Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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