I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
