When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
