At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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