remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
ugly people sure do ruin things
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she told me i tasted like america
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
