69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
