So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
A+ Viking dick
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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