do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
