ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
