Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
