I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
