my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
