My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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