I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
