Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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