Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
